Drug Induced (The Melancholy Of Haruhi Suzumiya, "work" 8/10)

[kb9vcn.livejournal.com]

Title: Drug Induced
Author: echoalpha
Based on: The Melancholy Of Haruhi Suzumiya
Rating: Parental guidance.
fic_variations Prompt: #3 "work" (8/10)
Spoilers: For an unlicensed anime.
Warnings: Politically-incorrect controlled-substance humor.

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya © Nagaru Tanigawa / Noizi Ito / SOS Brigade / Kadokawa Shoten / Kyoto Animation.

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"Itsuki?" said Kyon. "Mind if I ask you a personal question?... How do you remain so calm and collected, despite everything that Haruhi does?"

"As you know," Itsuki said cheerfully, "I am a student of philosophy, and I have embraced the spirituality of many religions. I have faith in both a higher power and the good works of mankind..."

Kyon raised an eyebrow.

"But that wasn't enough to help me deal with our Haruhi," Itsuki admitted. "So, I also began to abuse illicit drugs heavily."

"Ah," Kyon said.

"Do you need some illicit drugs, Kyon?"

"Oh, dear God, yes. Please."