Getting Past The Hate (Tony DiNozzo Fic 2, May '08)

[callmedirk.livejournal.com]

Title: Getting Past The Hate
Author: Sara (callmedirk)
Rating: PG at most
fic_variations Prompt/Claim: Love/Hate, Time/Tony DiNozzo
Word Count: 1505
Spoilers: None
Warnings: None
Author's Notes: Very AU. Part of my Reasons Why 'verse. Hannah, Mark, and Emily Chandler are my own creation--please do not use without permission. I don't own Tony DiNozzo (although that would be nice), so please don't sue either?? *g*



Tony reserved the word hate for only the most evil of people. Really, he saved the word despise for only one person—his father. Few people truly understood the hatred he had for Anthony DiNozzo, Sr, which dated back to just after Isabella DiNozzo's death when Tony was 11. There were many times that Tony thought that his father never loved Isabella and never mourned the loss of her.

A mere three weeks after she had died, Tony was informed he was getting a new stepmother. His father's second wife was named Sofia, and if anyone had asked the staff of the DiNozzo home how Sofia was, they plus Tony would have called her a barracuda.

Even now, Tony firmly believed it was her who convinced his father to send him away to prep school the following year.

Tony knew his father loved him very little in the first place, but he remembered never knowing just how little affection DiNozzo, Sr. had for him until graduation times came around. His father never showed for his prep school graduation or his graduation from Ohio State.

Tony remembered sitting solemnly in back of his best friend Hannah and next to two of his frat brothers, knowing there would be no DiNozzo family members in the crowd watching and cheering his accomplishments.

As he sat there in his black cap and gown, Hannah turned around and reached for his hand. She squeezed his fingers and winked at him. He could only offer a tight smile back and squeeze her hand. Only a few minutes later, he heard Hannah's name called and he watched as she accepted her degree and beamed. He heard loud cheers and claps and Tony couldn't help but be filled with an odd sense of pure jealousy, even though he hated feeling that way when he loved her as much as he did.

His own name was called out not five minutes later and many shouts and cheers were heard, but not one stood out as his father's. He remembered only that Emily and Mark Chandler were standing and cheering for him and that meant more than anyone could ever know.

It was at the graduation party thrown in his and Hannah's honor that Tony truly realized how much he hated his own family. He remembered looking up at the sign congratulating them both, and the table filled with two separate piles with his name on one and Hannah's on another. His chest grew tight and his throat closed up as hot tears filled his eyes. He turned away and walked off suddenly.

It only took a couple of minutes for Emily to find him sitting alone in the guest room. She walked over and gently tipped his chin up with her hand.

"We are so proud of you, Tony," she said. "And I have a firm belief that your mother is too,"

He swallowed back a sob. She kissed his forehead and that was all it took for him to break. She sat down beside him and let the young man cry. As ashamed as he was for crying in the first place, Tony realized how angry he was. Emily felt him tense beside her and she hugged him tightly.

"He has no idea what he's missing," she said.

"And what he's already missed out on," Hannah spoke quietly from the hallway. "Your dad's an idiot, hon,"

Tony looked up miserably. "How did you know? How did you both know?"

Hannah sat down on his other side and smiled sadly.

"Because he's not here," she said. "Dad even called to personally invite him, and—" she stopped.

"I see how it is," Tony nodded. "Oh well, huh?"

Hannah blinked, then nodded back slowly.

"You know what? Forget about him for awhile," she said, her face breaking into a bright smile. "We just graduated! Let's celebrate. Come dance with me, Tony,"

She took his hand and pulled him to his feet. He chuckled and followed her downstairs.

As they stepped back out onto the patio, they noticed the silence and everyone standing around. It was Tony who drew in a sharp breath and stopped short. Hannah looked up at him and then followed his gaze. Her face hardened as she potted Anthony DiNozzo, Sr. standing not three feet from them.

Tony was so surprised that all he could do was squeeze Hannah's hand and swallow noisily. Mark flashed him an apologetic look and Tony flashed him an understanding look.

"Dad," he said, finally breaking the silence.

"Hello Anthony," DiNozzo, Sr. shuffled his feet and looked at his son. "You look well,"

"I am, thank you," Tony's voice was stiff and formal. "How is your wife?"

"She is well," came the gruff reply. "Um—"

Tony tried not to roll his eyes.

"Why are you here?" he finally asked. "God knows you have no interest in supporting me,'

"I thought I—"

"You thought what, Dad? That if you came to my graduation party that everything would be fine and dandy? Because it's not fine."

DiNozzo, Sr. began to speak, but Tony suddenly found himself bold enough to interrupt him. He lifted a trembling hand.

"No Dad, let me finish. You haven't done anything with me since I was 12. You never cared about me, go on and admit it. Did you know I played on a Final Four team? Did you know or care that I broke my leg playing football against Michigan? Dad, you never cared. If it hadn't been for Hannah, I don't think I could ever answer a question about what my family is like. They've loved me as their own from the moment we met. Mr. Chandler has practiced football and basketball with me, along with supporting me though the intense physical therapy I went though after the break. He and Mrs. Chandler have done everything for their own daughters and me. They love me like Mom did--and like you never have."

Tony's hazel eyes were flashing angrily and color continued to rise in his cheeks. Hannah reached out to lay a bolstering hand on his back. She could fee him shaking. The rest of the family and their friends remained quiet, unsure of what to say or do. Mark walked over then and squeezed Tony's shoulder.

"Mr. DiNozzo, I think it would be best if you left now," he said quietly.

DiNozzo, Sr. stared at his son for a moment and then nodded, still never saying a word. He spun on his heels and started to walk away.

It was in that moment that Tony knew what he wanted in his life—and got the courage to say it aloud.

"I'm going to be a cop, Dad," he said. "Because I know I want to help people—and because I know it's exactly what you don't want me to do."

His father stopped short. He shook his head, his dark eyes narrowed. His lips pressed in a stiff line.

"Then I wouldn't count on hearing from me anytime soon," he said tightly. 'What you have decided to do with your life is against my wishes."

Tony simply shrugged.

"Fine then," he said, "Disown me—you pretty much did it years ago anyway. I'll be just fine on my own,"

"If that's what you want, so be it," his father said.

Hannah gasped and clapped a hand over her mouth. Emily gripped her arm. Tony glanced back at them and his eyes were calm. Hannah bit the inside of her cheek and nodded at him. He drew in another breath and turned back to his father.

"It's not necessarily what I want, Dad---it's what you want. I'm giving you your out—take it and go. I'd really like to celebrate my graduation at some point today,"

He gave a dismissive wave of his hand as his father finally walked away. Tony still shook slightly as he quickly pasted a smile on his face.

"Sorry, everyone—family drama," he said. "Um, start the party back up now, would you?"

Everyone offered slightly nervous laughs, and then the music started up and the tension eased. Everyone started to chatter and dance and food was set out on any available surface. Tony reached out and slid his arm around Hannah's shoulders and she turned to look at him. A smile spread across her face.

"You decided on the Academy, huh?" she laughed. "Nice of you to tell me."

"Sorry," Tony replied. "It kind of just came to me. I blurt things out sometimes, you know,"

Hannah stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

"I'm glad," she whispered. "You're going to do so awesome, Tony,"

He smiled and nodded. He kissed her temple and together they joined the party. Tony was surrounded by laughter and family, and he knew it was time to let the hatred go. He knew then that he would never have to deal with his father's disappointment again and only hoped his mother was approving his choice somewhere.