fic_variations | Slipping Further (Prompt 5, Izzie/Denny-Grey's Anatomy) (Reply)

Title: Slipping Further
Author: Sara (

callmedirk)
Rating:PG, to be safe.
fic_variations Prompt/Claim: Slipping//Izzie/Denny
Spoilers: None.
Warnings: None.
Author's Notes: Ahh, bits of angst, I love thee.

Every time she looked at him, she knew he was slipping further and further away from her. It had been two weeks since the first failed donor heart happened, and each day his heartbeat grew a little weaker and he was quieter.

Izzie hated to watch him try to sleep, because she knew it was all a façade. He'd told her from the beginning that he hated sleeping in hospitals, for fear he'd never wake again. But she also knew he was exhausted, and that was simply from trying to stay alive.

Denny smiled faintly as she came into the room and lifted his chart from the end of his bed. She scribbled onto it and set it down again. His eyes watched her face, saying nothing as she perched on the edge of his bed.

"There's options, Denny," she said.

"Yeah, there's me going all robotic with that machine thing, there's hoping and praying for a viable heart from some hapless person out there who was too young to die, or there's the DNR papers and I can just die," his voice turned hard. "A lot of options there,"

"You don't need a lot of them," Izzie said. "The point is that there are options, and choosing between living and dying."

"Do you think I want to die, Izzie? I don't. But I also don't want to live like this. I can't live like this anymore. It's just too hard, and I'm just too tired to deal with the pain. I want to be able to sleep again, Izzie, I want to be peaceful again. I can't do this anymore," Denny said, his eyes watery.

Izzie reached out and cupped his face in her hands.

"I know you're tired, I do, Denny," she said. "But seriously, if you want to live so badly, you need to start really looking at the options Dr. Burke has given you. The ones I've given you,"

She sighed as tears filled her eyes. Denny looked away from her.

"You can't give up, Denny. Please don't give up. You've got too much to keep you here," she said.

"Name me one thing," he said, still not looking at her. "Name me one good thing that can keep me here, living like this, Dr. Stevens."

"Me."

He shifted and his eyes met hers. That one look was all it took. He drew in a shallow breath and nodded.

"Okay, I won't sign the DNR papers," Denny said quietly. "But—Izzie, I don't know how long I can keep up the waiting for a donor heart. I don't want to be the guy who prays for someone else to die so I can live,"

"I know. So go with the LVAD and we'll hold on as long as we can," Izzie said.

"So it's we now? There's a we to speak of?" Denny's dimples flashed for a moment.

"It's going to be we—us—for a long time, Denny. I promise." Izzie's voice was soft. "I can’t let you slip away from me any further. I won't let that happen."

The determination in her eyes made Denny believe it. And he trusted her words. He just didn't know if his failing heart would believe it much longer.