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fic_variations2006-07-10 11:59 am
dragonessasmith.livejournal.com) wrote in fic_variations2006-07-10 11:59 am
Entry tags:
Jiffy Lube (Prompt 2 - Matt)
Title: Jiffy Lube
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dragonessasmith
Rating: T
Words: 467
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
fic_variations Prompt/Claim: Fashion // Matt Seely
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Motor Oil
Count: 2/10
Author's Notes: I forget what I was reading, but there was something about the use of motor oil as a lubricant. Now is one of those times that I wish I wrote porn well.
"You're a mess."
Matt stopped dead in his tracks, glaring at him.
"Thank you Woody. That's what all the girls want to hear first thing in the morning. I think I've stumbled across the reason all your relationships tend to suck."
"Well," Woody sat up straighter, leaning forward intently. "What crawled up your butt and died?"
"I dunno, possibly the same thing that died just after urinating all over the back seat of Benson's squad car. Which is how I got to work this morning, since some idiot decided to break into my car last night and I spent the morning trying to fix it while filling out an incident report."
"They take anything?"
"Besides half my engine? No. I think it was someone scrounging for parts. Though what they thought they could get from a '92 Plymouth Sundance, I have no idea."
"You drive a '92 Plymouth?"
"Yeah, yeah, laugh. When I had the time to car shop, I didn't have any money. Now I got money, but no time."
"How long does it take to replace a Sundance? If I drove one, I think I'd make time."
"Wow you're not funny. There's more to Betsy than just her outside, you know."
"Oh right, you named it-"
"Her."
"Right. Your first serious girlfriend?"
"Come on man," Matt grinned. "When have they ever been serious?"
"Right. Well, enjoy dying alone, I have work to do."
“Oh come on, don’t you even want to know what I’m thinking about getting to replace Betsy?”
“Knowing you, something younger, cuter, with a nicer paint job.”
“That’s not fair.”
“You’re right. You’ll test drive a nicer car, but after it refuses to go out to dinner with you for the sixth time in a row, you’ll move back to Betsy, right?”
“Are you making fun of me?”
“Never. Now go away, I have real work to do.”
“You’re the one who started talking to me.” When Woody didn’t respond, he threw his hands into the air. "Fine. Leave me alone then. I need a shower more than I need to talk to you anymore." Matt sniffed haughtily. "This motor oil is doing nothing for my complexion."
"I didn't think you were doing anything for your complexion." Woody grinned, looking Matt up and down.
"Well thanks. I'm going for the natural look, you know."
"Of course. It's all the rage."
"Just trying to stay one step ahead of Milan."
"Okay, and now I'm creeped out. Go shower."
"Just as soon as you stop picturing me naked."
"What?"
Matt shook his head. "You know what I mean."
"...no. No I don't."
"Later Woods." He waved as he started walking away.
"No really!" Woody called after him. "Tell me what you meant!"
"I don't want to break your fragile little brain."
“Matt!”
“Later Woods!”
Author:
dragonessasmithRating: T
Words: 467
fic_variations Prompt/Claim: Fashion // Matt SeelySpoilers: None
Warnings: Motor Oil
Count: 2/10
Author's Notes: I forget what I was reading, but there was something about the use of motor oil as a lubricant. Now is one of those times that I wish I wrote porn well.
"You're a mess."
Matt stopped dead in his tracks, glaring at him.
"Thank you Woody. That's what all the girls want to hear first thing in the morning. I think I've stumbled across the reason all your relationships tend to suck."
"Well," Woody sat up straighter, leaning forward intently. "What crawled up your butt and died?"
"I dunno, possibly the same thing that died just after urinating all over the back seat of Benson's squad car. Which is how I got to work this morning, since some idiot decided to break into my car last night and I spent the morning trying to fix it while filling out an incident report."
"They take anything?"
"Besides half my engine? No. I think it was someone scrounging for parts. Though what they thought they could get from a '92 Plymouth Sundance, I have no idea."
"You drive a '92 Plymouth?"
"Yeah, yeah, laugh. When I had the time to car shop, I didn't have any money. Now I got money, but no time."
"How long does it take to replace a Sundance? If I drove one, I think I'd make time."
"Wow you're not funny. There's more to Betsy than just her outside, you know."
"Oh right, you named it-"
"Her."
"Right. Your first serious girlfriend?"
"Come on man," Matt grinned. "When have they ever been serious?"
"Right. Well, enjoy dying alone, I have work to do."
“Oh come on, don’t you even want to know what I’m thinking about getting to replace Betsy?”
“Knowing you, something younger, cuter, with a nicer paint job.”
“That’s not fair.”
“You’re right. You’ll test drive a nicer car, but after it refuses to go out to dinner with you for the sixth time in a row, you’ll move back to Betsy, right?”
“Are you making fun of me?”
“Never. Now go away, I have real work to do.”
“You’re the one who started talking to me.” When Woody didn’t respond, he threw his hands into the air. "Fine. Leave me alone then. I need a shower more than I need to talk to you anymore." Matt sniffed haughtily. "This motor oil is doing nothing for my complexion."
"I didn't think you were doing anything for your complexion." Woody grinned, looking Matt up and down.
"Well thanks. I'm going for the natural look, you know."
"Of course. It's all the rage."
"Just trying to stay one step ahead of Milan."
"Okay, and now I'm creeped out. Go shower."
"Just as soon as you stop picturing me naked."
"What?"
Matt shook his head. "You know what I mean."
"...no. No I don't."
"Later Woods." He waved as he started walking away.
"No really!" Woody called after him. "Tell me what you meant!"
"I don't want to break your fragile little brain."
“Matt!”
“Later Woods!”